Regain your Breath

Ever had the wind knocked out of you? 

Source here

I am going to guess that the answer to that one is probably yes. It might have been the physical wind knocked out of your lungs... Like when you, as a 2nd grader, thought that jumping from the low bar to the high bar on the jungle gym at recess was a brilliant idea. Next thing you know, you are flat on your back on the ground, staring at the sky gasping for breath. 

(That's a totally hypothetical situation of course. I certainly never did that. Completely made up.) 

Or maybe your breath was taken away when you received some sad news about a friend or a relative. Perhaps the wind was whooshed away when your beloved proposed marriage to you. 

There are a million different possibilities. For me, specifically as an army wife, the wind-knockage experience will typically come from my husband either in person, on the phone or via text. 

It usually starts with the phrase "So, I've got some news..." 

Let me tell you something, readers, falling off the jungle gym or getting bucked off a horse can't compare to the "Hey-baby-got-some-news" army marriage wind-knocking conversations. Because whenever I get in that situation, I am trying not to panic while I keep my breath, fight back tears, AND not to throw up all at the same time. (Fortunately, ALL of those don't usually happen.  Not because I am a pro at keeping it together, but because it would  be a mess. And if I am dealing with profound breath-takingly uncertain conversations, I don't have time to clean it up.)

When you love someone as deeply as I love Brandon, it is hard to get "news." I am so thankful that news coming from first from Iraq and now here at Fort Benning hasn't resulted in reporting any injuries or catastrophically terrifying information. (Thank you, Jesus!)   

Instead, this "news" usually revolves around changing schedules. And time apart. So forgive me if you think it sounds a little melodramatic. But hey, I love the man, I love spending time with him and he is kinda my best friend. Plus, I am a planner, so when I get the "first news" I process it, pray and prepare. When the "news" changes, I have to do it again. It's exhausting. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a "strong, independent woman." (My Mama's words, not mine.) But when the Holy Spirit gets ahold of me, coupled with an awesome husband who's job takes him away on a semi-random yet regular basis, I become much more vulnerable. Which means I cry more. Which I hate. SIGH. 

I had one of those wind-removing moments yesterday afternoon. The past few weeks, I have been preparing my head/heart for Brandon to go to Ranger school. In a nutshell, it's a two month (ish) long training where he doesn't come home at night and communication is minimal. He was planning on attending pre-ranger school, which according to our calculations, started February 16th. 

Apparently, our math skills stink and our calculations were incorrect.  I received a text yesterday saying that it started on the 10th. Yeah, in like 14 days. Dear Lord. Cue living room breath-leaving-the-lung moment. (To you non-military spouses, six days might seem like peanuts... and I suppose big picture, it kind of is... but it's still hard to be like "Yay honey, we are going to be apart even longer!") 

If I am being completely honest, I have to say that yes, being apart is difficult... but the changing schedules and unknown of "Will he pass? Will he get recycled? How long will this take? etc" is almost overwhelming. 

But it's only overwhelming if I let it be. No, I was certainly not thrilled with this new information. My fleshly side of me, as I was trying to stay composed (and briefly failing) wanted to just jump off the deep end right there. I wanted to get down in my living room floor and throw a tantrum. Sobbing, snotty, kicking and screaming. Very adult. Real professional. 

Somehow I refrained. I'm not gonna lie, I did have a few tears... But I immediately engaged my newest army wife mantra. As I took deep breaths to restore my composure, I started saying out loud, "I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, Jesus."

It worked. I was able to breath again. And even managed to blog about this. Good work, Jesus. Very impressive. 

We won't always understand WHY things happen in this world, whether they are small-scale like 6 extra days of Ranger school/spouse mandatory separation or life changing-scale level like dealing with cancer of a family member. But we can trust the unknown to a known God. 

Trust all things to Jesus. He didn't promise that this life on Earth would be easy. But He does vow that trusting Him is worth it. Let Him restore your composure. Allow Him to be the air you breathe. Ask Him to help you regain your breath. 

In-through-the-nose-out-through-the-mouth, 

SGK 

"And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else." Acts 17:25

Army of God: "Frago"

"Yeah that sounds great... Do you still want to meet at the mall? <ssrrrrtttpppp> Wait are you there? <psssrrrrrrrrkkkkktttt> Can you hear me? <ttttsssssssffffff> Hello? Hello? HELLO? <beep beep... call dropped.>

Sigh. Just typing that one-sided conversation above raises my blood pressure a bit. But we've all be there-- we have plans, think we know what is going on, then beep, beep, call dropped. Were our plans staying the same or was our compadre on the other end about to share a new idea with us? OR someone calls very last minute and either cancels or completely changes the game plan. Frustrating, huh?

So today's dropped cell phone conversation and change of plans is brought to you by the word "Frago." It means "Fragmentation order" which essentially deals with a last minute change of plans (aka breaking original orders)  especially when carrying out an operation or previously determined path. (If you get nothing else from today's post, you at least have a cool word to say... seriously, pronounce it outloud... FRAGO. Funny.

As a drill sergeant's wife, we have a lot of "frago" in our house sometimes. In the army... and with God.

Frago follows right along with the other discussions we have been having this week about obedience and trust. Now we add change into the mix. If you would have asked me about my original plans five years ago, I can guarantee it wouldn't have sounded like this:

"In five years, I will be married to a soldier and working in ministry. We will live in Georgia and have a puppy. Oh, and I will have gotten my masters and my husband will be an Iowa boy who currently serves as a drill sergeant and plans to make a career out of the military."

Uh, yeah, no.

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for the path God has put me on to get me here. As much as a joke about the military, I really do love our life. We are blessed. But honestly,  I feel like our lives are one big "Frago."

Is your life a little frago too? I am going to guess the answer is probably yes. You had ideas of where you wanted to go and how you wanted to get there, then our Upstairs Commander put the whoa on that and took you in a completely different direction. Change of plans. See? Frago!

Maybe you are in the middle of a big Frago or your life (like mine) is a bunch of little fragos all jumbled together... you might be wondering what in the name of chocolate cake God is going to do with you. Maybe your communication with Him is a little fuzzy and you can't quite make that "cell phone" connection clear.

Don't fret, dear reader. Every change you experience in life is all part of "THE PLAN." No, we don't have the notes or the completely order of operations in front of us. But we do have an awesome God that we can trust with all our heart.

So don't fear frago... feed off it!

Changed by God,

SGK

"He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."-- Daniel 2:21


Tell me about your experience with Godly "frago" and leave a comment here.

Excited & Can't Hide It

 When was the last time you were excited? 

I am not talking about the "Oooo Monday is over" kind of excitement or "Yay a new season of my favorite show starts tonight." I mean the "brain-churning, stomach-fluttering, pulse-pounding, heart-gonna-burst-outta-my-chest, can't-wait-to-tell-my-boss/spouse/family/friend about it" kind of excitement. I love that feeling. WHOOT!

Some of you out there might be saying <scoff> "Sharita, nothing profoundly exciting ever happens to me." But before you get stuck on that thought, let me clarify something. The type of excitement I am addressing isn't "I won the lottery" or "WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD" excitement. Instead it includes the little things in life that help us get through each day. It could be a new opportunity, a new project that capitalizes on using your strengths, a favorite meal, someone telling you that your ministering really helped them, a short upcoming vacation, reunion with family etc. 

I have had a few moments that so far today. One is a new project for work writing some speechy-workshoppy curriculum (I know, I am nerd), another was finding out that I might get to take a mini anniversary vacay with my beloved and the final one includes a potential future ministry opportunity next summer. Tell you what-- my brain was definitely churning and heart pounding as I drove home today. 

While these small things add excitement to my life, I can't help but think of a greater promise that we can all be excited about all the time... Our future glory. Yes, I admit it thinking about heaven and glorious things of the future are kind of challenging to grasp in the busyness of life. But just as I mentioned a couple of days ago in my "Lifted by Being Gifted" post, many of these little things that God gives us in life are reminders of His love... all of which will someday be reflected via our future glory we will experience. 

The reality of being an adult/big kid seems to distract us from being excited, especially when it comes to getting and staying excited for Christ. Remember when you were a little kid and there were events that you were SO EXCITED you could barely sleep? Maybe it was Christmas Eve... Or a birthday... For me, it was the night before we left for the Missouri State Fair. I also remember from my freshman year of high school being so excited to "skip" class the next day to decorate for homecoming as a member of student council. I long to rediscover that level of awesome excitement from my "youth" and reapply it to my love of Christ. 

Are you excited for Christ? In what ways can you show it? What small things in live via gifts from God get you pumped up. Do you accept the challenge to find new ways to get excited for Him? 

After all of the awesome things he has put into my life, I have to admit that I am excited for Christ... and as you might have noticed on this blog, I just can't hide it!

Excited for Future Glory, 

SGK 

"He quivers with excitement, and at the trumpet blast races off at a gallop. At the sound of the trumpet he neighs mightily, smelling the excitement of battle from a long way off, catching the rolling thunder of the war cries." --Job 39:24-25