"I got this. I am smart. I'm in control. I am too legit to quit."
"All that an a bag of potato chips... yep, that's me!"
"A-double-you-E-S-O-M-E, I'm awesome, awesome... TOTALLY!"
Hopefully I don't come across this way to the general public... not this ditzy (although I was a cheerleader for a few years of my life) OR this cocky. Two unlegit qualities, if I do say so myself.
Yesterday we talked about power... something I struggle with. The daily submitting to the Lord, denying myself and taking up the cross can be a challenge for me. But today, we are talking about a different type of "symptom" of being a human. We have... Ego Issues.
Now before you get your feathers all ruffled with me calling you (and myself) cocky, overconfident or stuck up, let me explain. I try to be humble in my earthly life. But humility is a fine line between being an egomaniac and self-depreciating.
Hopefully (again, I emphasis HOPEFULLY) I come across as confident yet leading with a servant's heart based on humility when it comes to my peers. (You be the judge of that one.) I am sinner. I fall flat on my face regularly. I want to do it MYSELF with nobody's help. So I would guess that in God's eyes, I still have ego issues.
It directly relates to the power challenge of yesterday... We determined that having a power shortage wasn't necessarily a BAD thing... but when I get hung up on trying to control things or take on the attitude that I AM awesome, awesome, TOTALLY, my ego issues surface from God's point of view.
This isn't a depressing post, I promise. I still struggle with yearning for control and reveling in my gifts, talents and abilities... but see, that's the thing- they are GIFTS. I didn't create myself to have the ability to write, sing, minister, box or auctioneer (betcha never thought you would see those things all in the same sentence huh?) God loves you and me SO MUCH He gave us gifts and talents to share with others. HE made us awesome.
We can be excited about that. But the key to rejoicing in those gifts and not stepping over the line of ego-crazed is to remember that He gave us those gifts so that we in turn would give them away. I ask daily for God to allow me to surrender completely to Him. Sometimes my ego gets in the way, but He loves me through it all.
God's love is what makes us awesome. And THAT in itself is awesome, awesome... Totally.
Humbly trying to check the ego at the door,
"He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way." --Psalm 25:9