Regain your Breath

Ever had the wind knocked out of you? 

Source here

I am going to guess that the answer to that one is probably yes. It might have been the physical wind knocked out of your lungs... Like when you, as a 2nd grader, thought that jumping from the low bar to the high bar on the jungle gym at recess was a brilliant idea. Next thing you know, you are flat on your back on the ground, staring at the sky gasping for breath. 

(That's a totally hypothetical situation of course. I certainly never did that. Completely made up.) 

Or maybe your breath was taken away when you received some sad news about a friend or a relative. Perhaps the wind was whooshed away when your beloved proposed marriage to you. 

There are a million different possibilities. For me, specifically as an army wife, the wind-knockage experience will typically come from my husband either in person, on the phone or via text. 

It usually starts with the phrase "So, I've got some news..." 

Let me tell you something, readers, falling off the jungle gym or getting bucked off a horse can't compare to the "Hey-baby-got-some-news" army marriage wind-knocking conversations. Because whenever I get in that situation, I am trying not to panic while I keep my breath, fight back tears, AND not to throw up all at the same time. (Fortunately, ALL of those don't usually happen.  Not because I am a pro at keeping it together, but because it would  be a mess. And if I am dealing with profound breath-takingly uncertain conversations, I don't have time to clean it up.)

When you love someone as deeply as I love Brandon, it is hard to get "news." I am so thankful that news coming from first from Iraq and now here at Fort Benning hasn't resulted in reporting any injuries or catastrophically terrifying information. (Thank you, Jesus!)   

Instead, this "news" usually revolves around changing schedules. And time apart. So forgive me if you think it sounds a little melodramatic. But hey, I love the man, I love spending time with him and he is kinda my best friend. Plus, I am a planner, so when I get the "first news" I process it, pray and prepare. When the "news" changes, I have to do it again. It's exhausting. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a "strong, independent woman." (My Mama's words, not mine.) But when the Holy Spirit gets ahold of me, coupled with an awesome husband who's job takes him away on a semi-random yet regular basis, I become much more vulnerable. Which means I cry more. Which I hate. SIGH. 

I had one of those wind-removing moments yesterday afternoon. The past few weeks, I have been preparing my head/heart for Brandon to go to Ranger school. In a nutshell, it's a two month (ish) long training where he doesn't come home at night and communication is minimal. He was planning on attending pre-ranger school, which according to our calculations, started February 16th. 

Apparently, our math skills stink and our calculations were incorrect.  I received a text yesterday saying that it started on the 10th. Yeah, in like 14 days. Dear Lord. Cue living room breath-leaving-the-lung moment. (To you non-military spouses, six days might seem like peanuts... and I suppose big picture, it kind of is... but it's still hard to be like "Yay honey, we are going to be apart even longer!") 

If I am being completely honest, I have to say that yes, being apart is difficult... but the changing schedules and unknown of "Will he pass? Will he get recycled? How long will this take? etc" is almost overwhelming. 

But it's only overwhelming if I let it be. No, I was certainly not thrilled with this new information. My fleshly side of me, as I was trying to stay composed (and briefly failing) wanted to just jump off the deep end right there. I wanted to get down in my living room floor and throw a tantrum. Sobbing, snotty, kicking and screaming. Very adult. Real professional. 

Somehow I refrained. I'm not gonna lie, I did have a few tears... But I immediately engaged my newest army wife mantra. As I took deep breaths to restore my composure, I started saying out loud, "I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, Jesus."

It worked. I was able to breath again. And even managed to blog about this. Good work, Jesus. Very impressive. 

We won't always understand WHY things happen in this world, whether they are small-scale like 6 extra days of Ranger school/spouse mandatory separation or life changing-scale level like dealing with cancer of a family member. But we can trust the unknown to a known God. 

Trust all things to Jesus. He didn't promise that this life on Earth would be easy. But He does vow that trusting Him is worth it. Let Him restore your composure. Allow Him to be the air you breathe. Ask Him to help you regain your breath. 

In-through-the-nose-out-through-the-mouth, 

SGK 

"And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else." Acts 17:25

On an Adventure

(Insert intense sounding music here) 

"From the African deserts of the Sahara... To the Jungles of the Amazon... Across the desolate prairie.... Through the frozen tundra of the Arctic... Around your own living room... IT'S AN ADVENTURE!!" 

Did you start singing in your head "One of these things is not like the other?" If so, don't feel bad. I woke up the other day singing "This is the song that never ends" from Lambchop for absolutely no reason AT ALL. (This is the song that never ends... it just goes on and on my friend... some people, started singing it not knowing what it was, but we'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends...) 

Whoops. There I go again. 

Anywho, back to the point at hand. You might have noticed that those first few adventurous locations all fit together-- minus the whole living room part. We are a world who (typically) loves excitement and adventure, especially when it comes to watching others attempt to "utilize resources" to survive. I mean, look at all of the shows on TV right now... Man Vs. Wild, Survivorman, Man Tracker, Man-Woman-Wild, Dual Survival, oh, and I feel like there was some reality show actually called "Survivor" if I remember correctly. 

I have no desire to go on any of those shows to try my hand at surviving strictly for an adventure or entertainment purposes. While I do enjoy eating raw rattlesnake and drinking my own urine every now and then (kidding! Totally kidding... Did I go too far?) I will remain in the comfort of my living room if given the choice. 

But great news. We can still have an adventure in our everyday lives. 

We can have an adventure with God. 

I am a planner and organizer. I love nothing more to have my battle plan lined out for the day and for it to exactly as planned. 

But that has happened probably twice in my 26 years on earth. 

Yes, I do have a general idea about some of the "big rocks" I would like to accomplish each day, but my Jesus Calling devotional the other day reminded me to leave room and flexibility  to allow the Lord to take me on an adventure all His own. 

I did. And He delivered. I was still able to "do" a majority of the things I needed to get done, but he also put a lot of fun and unexpected things into my day that really strengthened my heart. 

He allowed me to have an unexpected phone conversation with one of my best friends. He charged me to cook a meal for a fellow drill sergeant wife and serve their family. He even took my husband and I on a very spontaneous adventure to the PBR (professional bull riding, for all of you non-rodeo-ish people out there.) 

It was one of the best days I have had in quite a while. All because I leaned and focused on God all day... He took me on a fulfilling adventure, that started in my living room. 

Leave room in your life to go on adventures with God. He has called us to follow Him. And we are going to be in for an awesome, rewarding adventure. 

No raw rattlesnake or Arctic tundra required. 

With an adventurous heart, 

SGK 

"Just think—you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that." 1 Corinthians 1:6-8 (MSG)

Army of God: "Wilco"

For any of my new readers, I need to bring something to your attention that is vital not only for this post specifically, but for this week and my entire blogging library. 

I am a nerd. 

Many of you are probably nodding your heads thinking "Uh, duh Sharita." I personally like to think of myself of somewhat of a sophisticated nerd, but I really do get quite a thrill out of lists, journals, weird numbers concepts/facts. And, as you may have noticed, I love learning new words. Hence the weeklong discussion we have had about Army of God vocab. 

(Random vocabulary note: Did you know that splendiferous and fantastical are both real words? As in, they are found in the dictionary AND Microsoft word doesn't do that squiggly red "you-spelled-this-wrong underline?) 

See. Told you I was something of a geek. 

Back to the topic at hand: it is the culmination of our weeklong study of Army of God words. Today's word is an abbreviation: 

"Wilco: The abbreviated version of will comply, often used in quick conversations or text messaging." 

Easy right? Will comply. Like will do. Roger. Loud and clear. I get it. Gonna make it happen. 

How often do we respond to God with wilco? I know as for me, I sometimes pretend like I didn't hear what He told me, instead of being immediately obedient to him and surrendering to make it happen. 

Iron Mike @ Fort Benning, Georgia.
"I am the Infantry, Follow Me!"
Shouldn't we do the same if not more for Jesus?
(Photo taken by John D. Helms) 

As I was thinking about this week's lesson via this particular blog topic, I couldn't help but think of the main themes: Voluntold and America dealt with obedience, Stuff with Things and Frago focused on trust. Today, when it comes to Wilco, it's about submitting to the awesomeness of God and agreeing to comply with whatever he has called us to. 

This thought continued my thinking process. (I know, scary.) Obedience, Trust, Surrender. Huh. I wonder if there is an army acronym for OTS? Knowing our beloved military, I was confident that at least one existed... 

When I looked it up online, I was right. At least one did exist. I actually found about 237 acronyms that OTS could stand for on one website. (237? Really military? Really?) 

But the coolest part? Out of that entire list, a quick scan had my eyes land on OTS that meant "One-Time Source." Coincidence? I think not. God IS our one time source. All we need, we get from HIM. Wow. 

Voluntold, America, Stuff with Things, Frago, and Wilco.

Obedience, Trust. Surrender.

OTS.

One. Time. Source.

So this week, as those new vocab words swirl in your brain, I leave you with this newly invented Army of God prayer.

"Dear Heavenly Commander: I pray that I can be obedient to all of the stuff with things you have voluntold and called me to. Help me to trust you when my plans become frago. When I want to run, instead let me embrace you, rejoice and yell America! God, please change my heart so that my first instinct every day is surrender to you, take up my cross and follow you. When things get tough, allow me to press forward, clinging to your love and softly whispering "Wilco, sir." Father I salute you for the love you have given me when I least deserve it.  Lord, you ARE my OTS, my one time source. Then. Now. Forever. In your precious name, AMEN." 

I'm in the Lord's Army,
SGK

"Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered, and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him..." Hebrews 5:8-9


Leave a comment here.

Army of God: "Frago"

"Yeah that sounds great... Do you still want to meet at the mall? <ssrrrrtttpppp> Wait are you there? <psssrrrrrrrrkkkkktttt> Can you hear me? <ttttsssssssffffff> Hello? Hello? HELLO? <beep beep... call dropped.>

Sigh. Just typing that one-sided conversation above raises my blood pressure a bit. But we've all be there-- we have plans, think we know what is going on, then beep, beep, call dropped. Were our plans staying the same or was our compadre on the other end about to share a new idea with us? OR someone calls very last minute and either cancels or completely changes the game plan. Frustrating, huh?

So today's dropped cell phone conversation and change of plans is brought to you by the word "Frago." It means "Fragmentation order" which essentially deals with a last minute change of plans (aka breaking original orders)  especially when carrying out an operation or previously determined path. (If you get nothing else from today's post, you at least have a cool word to say... seriously, pronounce it outloud... FRAGO. Funny.

As a drill sergeant's wife, we have a lot of "frago" in our house sometimes. In the army... and with God.

Frago follows right along with the other discussions we have been having this week about obedience and trust. Now we add change into the mix. If you would have asked me about my original plans five years ago, I can guarantee it wouldn't have sounded like this:

"In five years, I will be married to a soldier and working in ministry. We will live in Georgia and have a puppy. Oh, and I will have gotten my masters and my husband will be an Iowa boy who currently serves as a drill sergeant and plans to make a career out of the military."

Uh, yeah, no.

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for the path God has put me on to get me here. As much as a joke about the military, I really do love our life. We are blessed. But honestly,  I feel like our lives are one big "Frago."

Is your life a little frago too? I am going to guess the answer is probably yes. You had ideas of where you wanted to go and how you wanted to get there, then our Upstairs Commander put the whoa on that and took you in a completely different direction. Change of plans. See? Frago!

Maybe you are in the middle of a big Frago or your life (like mine) is a bunch of little fragos all jumbled together... you might be wondering what in the name of chocolate cake God is going to do with you. Maybe your communication with Him is a little fuzzy and you can't quite make that "cell phone" connection clear.

Don't fret, dear reader. Every change you experience in life is all part of "THE PLAN." No, we don't have the notes or the completely order of operations in front of us. But we do have an awesome God that we can trust with all our heart.

So don't fear frago... feed off it!

Changed by God,

SGK

"He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."-- Daniel 2:21


Tell me about your experience with Godly "frago" and leave a comment here.

Army Of God: "Stuff With Things"

I know, I know... when a person says they have a "favorite" something that usually indicates that they  have only one. HOWEVER... I am writing this blog, so I make the rules. And today is another one of my favorite vocabulary phrases used by the Army (specifically, my husband.) 

Stuff with things: The abstract phrase used to describe a plan of action or agenda that is yet undetermined or completely unknown to any or all parties involved. 

In civilian terms, "stuff with things" is a great way to say "We are going to do something that will take up time and may or may not be productive, but honestly, I have no idea what that is going to be." 

When I hear this come from my beloved it is usually in one of two ways: either he really has no idea what is going to happen that day (with the Army, that can happen at any given moment) or when he is attempting to recount his day and it happened to be exceptionally chaotic. 

"What did you do today sweetheart?" 

"Um, Sharita... I really don't even know. We worked for 20 hours. I think we did stuff with things." 

<Note: This phrase can also be used in a sarcastic manner... as can most unofficial army terms. Didn't know if you were catching onto that pattern with "voluntold," "America" and now "Stuff with things."> 

As with most of the army terms I have been introduced to and really like, this one has also made it into my everyday vocabulary. (I actually said it while leading a task force meeting at church yesterday. Sigh. It's ingrained.) 

While voluntold and America primarily focus on being obedient to God, "Stuff with Things" also deals with obedience, but even more so with TRUST. God, being the all-knowing, all-loving guy that He is, very rarely (if ever) reveals the entire picture to us. He feeds us bits and pieces along the way. Our future might look very uncertain and we live our days being obedient to Him, doing "stuff with things" but not completely sure where we are going with it until He shows us. 

That's the key. He doesn't call us to just be busy, rushing around and filling our time with stuff. However, when we enter into His presence and obey without seeing His bigger picture (which only He has access to) it can feel like we are running around, almost chaotically, doing "stuff with things." But take heart. He wouldn't ask you to do something without purpose. Listen for His voice so you can do HIS stuff for HIS things and HIS purpose. It's all part of HIS plan. So trust that He's got it under control. 

Now if you will excuse me... I gotta go do some "stuff with things." 

Trusting Him and Living with Purpose, 

SGK 

But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.”-- Psalm 31:14

Seeing... Or Believing... The Light

The temperature had dropped almost to the point where we could see our breath. The sun had set a couple of hours ago, so we bundled up and headed outside. We climbed aboard the bus, snuggled in and prepared to see something amazing. 

We were on a girl date. 

My lovely friend Sara graciously invited me to be her "date" last weekend to a Christmas party event hosted by her work company. Since her beloved was gone to Ranger school and mine was essentially nonexistent per Basic Training Red Phase Drill Sergeant duties, I was totally up for an adventure. After all, us army wives gotta stick together!

So I was Sara's date to a "romantic" weekend getaway at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, GA. Ok, so it really wasn't THAT romantic, but it sure was fun. We determined that having a two-night girl slumber party was just what we needed to recharge our hearts and reconnect with God. Probably the highlight of the weekend (other than awesome God time) was the Fantasy of Lights tours we took through the gardens on an open air trolley. (Close second: when I crashed my mountain bike. I'm not coordinated. But that's another blog post.) 

Fantasy in Lights was awesome. (See first paragraph for set-up details.) Long story short, millions of Christmas lights (8 million to be exact) are arranged and displayed throughout 12 different scenes in  Callaway Gardens. All are timed to music and use 32 total miles of extension cords. Totally worth it. 

But as usual, God didn't just take us on a "date" to show us cool lights and eat good food. He was at work during our time at Callaway. Yes, he helped us to relax, rest and fellowship... but He also made me think. (Dangerous... maybe that's why I crashed when riding the bike?) When we checked into the hotel on Friday night, there was a sign out front advertising the Fantasy in Lights tour. On the post it said "SEEING IS BELIEVING." 

Apparently, God was at the forefront of my mind and immediately thought "No it's not!" Those words "Seeing is believing" made me think of faith... or rather, what faith is not. All throughout the Bible we hear of verses talking about living by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) or that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1.) 

I continued to think about the concept of seeing is believing when related to faith for the rest of the evening and was led to re-study the story of dear ol' doubting Thomas during my Bible study/quiet time the next morning. 

"Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

-John 20:24-29

I would love to scoff and say that Thomas was simply an unfaithful epic fail of a disciple... but THAT would make me a hypocrite. Because I am my own version of Thomas. I am gonna take a guess that we all are to some degree. As humans, we are inclined to want to have tangible proof before we believe something... we desire to SEE it to BELIEVE it. But Jesus Himself said "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." 

Are there areas in your spiritual life that you are trying to walk by sight and asking to "See it to believe it?" We can't test the Lord... Sure we can ask for signs and guidance (that's what He is there for!) But we also must believe that He WILL come through for us, "tangible proof" or not. 

Today, let's think about ways that we can certain of what we do not see. God's promises are steadfast. We don't have to see it to believe it... we just have to believe it then experience it. Take in it. Love it. Revel in it. Rejoice in it!  We don't have to see the light to walk in it... we just have to believe it is there. 

Believing is seeing with the heart, 

SGK 

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:8-9

PS: Don't forget to leave a comment here and share this blog with your friends now though next Monday for a chance to win the "Leadership & Faith" prize package to celebrate the completion of my masters and upcoming 100th blog post. Check out "Happy Dance Celebration" for more information. 

See.. and Be... COURAGEOUS!

I am not now and do not predict that I will ever become a movie critic. But that's the great part about doing your own blog-- you can kind of write about what you want. Definitely exercising that privilege today! :-)

This last Sunday night, my beloved and I went to see the movie "Courageous." Here are the reasons that this is "big" news: 

1) We almost never go to the movies. 

2) When we do go, we usually go in the middle of the afternoon or early evening, not prime time. Apparently, movies are expensive. 

3) We actually agreed that we both wanted to see the movie (I was already convinced that I wanted to go, but he agreed after seeing the movie trailer played at church) Oh, and sidenote on this point: We RARELY agree on movies/TVs... So this was a big deal. (Granted, if cinematic adventure selection is the biggest rift in our marriage, I'm ok with that.) 

So we went. Due to our slightly modified Sunday schedule, we ended up going late... but our hang out time is running out as he picks up cycle in a couple of weeks, I will rarely see him and I will depart for a visit to KS. So we went anyways-- and it was AWESOME. 

I don't want to give away too much of the story line because I would hate to ruin it... and while some pieces of the movie are kinda-sorta predictable (show me a legit movie that isn't semi-foreshadowing) it provides a lot of great surprises and tugs on the heartstrings. You might cry... I did, two tears, and it took a lot of focus to keep it together and avoid getting hysterical. (Dang Holy Spirit tears!) But feel free to let it all out-- the girl sitting in front of me was sobbing pretty hilariously ;-) 

Oh, and one other thing before I get to the "meat" of this post... "Courageous" really stepped up the quality of acting, script and believability when compared to other Christian films like "Fireproof" and "Facing the Giants." (Both of those films were great too-- but the acting was a little eh.) 

The bottom line is that it is a "Christian" flick, and has a great message about fathers stepping up and committing to their families, biblically based. (Even though we aren't parents to anyone but a puppy yet, it was still inspiring for both of us!) The men in the movie stepped forward... courageously... and signed a resolution. It went a little something like this: 

******

THE RESOLUTION

I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15

*******

Intense right? I definitely left the theater feeling inspired, empowered and encouraged... Obviously that feeling has stuck with me if I am blogging about it on Wednesday. It's a fantastic message about the father/son relationship in the eyes of God... but there is a deeper message that ALL of us can take to heart. 

Sometimes honoring God and keeping our eyes focused on him isn't easy. He might call us to do something that requires more courage that we believe we can muster. But that's what is so wonderful about our God-- He gives us the courage to step out and make a commitment in His name. 

Has God called you to make a deeper commitment to someone, something or simply HIM lately? He sure has for me. "Hey Sharita-- I need you to go ahead and marry this soldier I've picked out for you, then quit your job, follow him to a new time zone where it is just you, your husband and ME. Oh, and instead of getting a full time job on post, ask your new church to create a non-paying internship for you so you can enter into ministry." And instead of just leaving me hanging in my potential panic, He adds this little afterthought: 

"Trust me. I love you. You can do it-- through me!" 

Courage comes in so many different forms. It might be similar to the scenario I presented above. Maybe it is making a new commitment to your family by signing a resolution. Think about the areas in YOUR life that God has called you to be courageous. He has called you to it... but He is faithful and will do it! 

Need some inspiration to make it happen?  Go SEE... and BE... COURAGEOUS! 

Courageously at work, 

SGK 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”-- Joshua 1:9

LET IT GOD

Apparently it's "Sharita-needs-to-confess-random-things-on-her-blog" week. 

That being said, guess what? I have (another) confession. I like to have control. There. I said it. Be in charge, drive the boat, run the show, whatever you wanna call it, I like it. Rephrase: I thrive on it. I might even admit I-gotta-have-it. (Now that just reminds me of Cold Stone's ice cream size choices. Random.) 

This discovery was brought to a very profound point a week ago at CCC Women's retreat (have you noticed it was apparently kind of a big deal in my life?) Last Saturday night, Mama Carol spoke about "Totally Surrender" when it comes to God. Naively, I thought I was... but as I examined my heart, it was clear that I thought wrong. 

My husband always asks me why I "worry" so much. His favorite line with me is from Matthew 6:27-- "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" I denied that I was a worrier-- It had to be something else. Why would I "worry" about things I couldn't control like the army, family, location, babies etc... Well, God revealed to me during the retreat (through all of the speakers, but especially Mama Carol) that yes, I was a worrier. 

That "worry" was rooted in lack of complete and total trust in the Lord.  And I didn't fully trust Him because I wanted to rely on myself and my own strength, which I know as well as anyone else fails on a regular basis. Carol said it best when she said "If you don't think something is strong enough, you aren't going to lean on it." Gulp. Could that really be me? I worry because I don't trust because I like having "control?" 

Enter stage left: Ton of bricks. OUCH! Needless to say, many tears were in order at that point (don't worry-- they were good Holy Spirit tears... He was working on my heart in such a sweet way!) I went outside for evening solo processing quiet time... As I was sobbing in the dark by the lake, I used my cell phone as a flashlight to write furiously and desperately in the last few pages of my journal (It was no coincidence that my journal was finished the final day of retreat and I was able to start a new one last Monday as I moved forward with a transformed heart.) 

I went back inside for our group processing time and decided to read from my journal what I just scribbled down. Throughout my self-plea/prayer combination, I had written LET IT GO!!! multiple times in all capital letters. I continued to read my plea/prayer out loud to my table-- suddenly I reached the middle of my entry and noticed a "typo." 

But it wasn't just an accidental "Ok-I-am-crying-and-writing-this-in-the-dark" typo. It was directly from God. Of this I have NO doubt. 

I had attempted to write "LET IT GO!" but instead my "typo" came out "LET IT GOD!" Yeah, that was no accident.

God didn't want 95% of myself. He wanted it ALL. Complete, total, utter, drop-to-your-knees-turn-every-thought-trust-Him-fully SURRENDER. I was still clinging to my own power. But at that moment, I gave it up. It was time to LET IT GOD.

I have since been praying for God to allow me to completely surrender to Him. In His endless love for me, He made me a strong-willed person, so I knew he wasn't going to just wave a magic wand and say "TA-DA! There ya go, Sharita. Complete surrender. Wish granted." 

Instead, He has already presented many opportunities to surrender to His will and let go of my desperate need to control. Every time one of those worrisome thoughts mentioned earlier (health, army, babies) would creep into my head, He gave me the power to give it back to Him. "It's all you, man. Take this God. You got this. I gotta LET IT GOD." 

He worked a surrendering miracle on Thursday night in my living room during a "discussion" that my husband and I were having. We decided to pray, holding each other and asking God to help us from being selfish and stubborn, to surrender to Him. It was absolutely amazing. The moment that my heart sincerely uttered those words, the feeling of hurt, selfishness and frustration was LIFTED off of my heart IMMEDIATELY. I just had to LET IT GOD.

Are there things in your life today that you are clinging to? Do you desire control? Trust in the Lord-- for He is STRONG enough, WORTHY enough and ALL-KNOWING enough to deal with your worries, troubles and struggles. He knows more about them and cares even more about them than you do. Think about it my friend-- is it time that you gave 100% away and LET IT GOD? 

Surrendering it All, 

SGK 

"In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise— in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" --Psalm 56:10-11