A Family to be Valued

Today, Baby Dog Sweet Justus and I leave Georgia and begin our long driving trek home to Kansas. Our red-phase visit really brings sweet excitement to mind about reuniting with my family. 

It's been over six months since I have gotten to see my parents, brother and friends from back home. Ideally Brandon would with us, but the demands of the army have dibs on him first. Thus, Justus and I are going to Kansas to enjoy the presence of friends and family for a couple of weeks, just the two of us. Can you say excited?!?

I could extensively elaborate on how awesome my family/friends are... like how my parents have set such an incredible example in their 32.5 year marriage, or my little bro's hilarious comments and love of agriculture, or little sister's work ethic and nurturing heart. Instead, I am going to present a challenge to you.

Take some time to seriously think and consider the gift that God has given you in family... and remember, family doesn't have to be blood, it can be anyone who has made a difference in your life.

The various forms of thanks, thanksgiving, thankfulness etc occur about 144 times in the New International version of the Bible. So obviously, it's kind of a big deal. Today, I am incredibly thankful for my biological family, as well as my friends and "married-into" family.

I am also remarkably thankful for being in the family of God. I am His daughter! He has given me brothers and sisters in Christ to walk with. He is never disappointed in me, never failing.

That, dear reader, is what I call a family to be valued.

A heart of thankfulness,
SGK

"How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?" 1 Thessalonians 3:9

Aren't we a precious group? Such an awesome
family to be valued! 

Dream Team

Confession: I didn't intend for this week's blogposts to turn into a stream of thankfulness focused stuff. But hey, it's where the Spirit has lead... and I am not gonna question it. 

You saw yesterday my extensive list of "Thanksvember." Apparently, that experience has reignited an attitude of gratitude within my heart. 

At the time of this posting, we are nearing the end of our Christ Community Church Staff Retreat. God showed up and met us here. And he's made it awesome. For that, I am thankful. 

Honestly, I don't really have a "right" to be here, since I'm not exactly on the payroll and my joining the staff involved me begging Kelli to put me to work and let me serve (ok, maybe it was a little more complicated than that, but I digress.)

Anywho, the wonderful staff members here at CCC officially adopted me into their staff family and invited for me to attend this three-day retreat. While I have enjoyed interacting with the remarkable leaders of this church, it is equally impressive and empowering to watch us all work together.

This group never loses focus on God. Every decision, idea, "spirit storming session" (it's like brainstorming, only more with the heart/spirit) is focused on the glory of God. We pray a lot, especially as ideas develop. It is so rewarding to sit back and watch our church vision develop into something even deeper and god-glorifying with each passing moment. 

So today, I am specifically thankful that I am a part of this team... but even more so, I'm thankful that God had allowed me to be on HIS team. He picked me. He has picked you too. And he doesn't pick us last (no awkward moments there!) He knows we are GOOD and lovely, and gives us the tools and coaching we need to succeed both as individuals as well as members of a team within Christ. 

Even when we mess up, God doesn't permanently "bench" us... He might call us to "sit one out" but typically that involves an opportunity to hush-up and listen. Take just a small, short second to sit back and think about being on God's team. What does it represent to you? It it leadership focused? What "position" are you playing? Are you practicing daily to serve on His team by spending time with the ultimate coach? 

God's blessings are raining down on me right now... I simply want to fall on my knees and thank Him for the sweet (and yet challenging) season that He has bestowed upon me. Today, it is specifically in the form of being a member of such a strong and remarkable team here at Christ Community Church. But even more so... I thank Him for giving me a chance (through Christ) to be apart of His incredible, ever-loving, constantly-growing DREAM TEAM. 

The kick is up and it is GOOD, 

SGK 

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

ThanksVember

It is the 8th day of November. You might have noticed the massive amount of folks on Facebook and Twitter taking time each day to remember what they are thankful for... Today, I roll my entire month of "ThankVember" into one post. 

Honestly, I try to keep an attitude of gratitude a majority of the time. But we all need a reality check. As motivated and focused as we are, sometimes the crazy drivers, endless TO DO lists, kids/spouse/pets driving you bonkers, sore throats, etc really distract from all of the incredible things we have in our lives for which to be thankful. (I did a modified version of this about amazing gifts in our live a while back... Click Lifted By Being Gifted to check it out.) 

Here's my "month" list. It is a reverse countdown with the things I am most thankful for towards the "lower" numbers. Sort of... (a few are a little out of order, but you get the point) Keep in mind, these are all gifts given to me from God... He is so awesome!

30. I am thankful for the "sweet" things in life... Open to interpretation (think: chocolate, great foods, amazing friends etc... more specific to follow.) 

29. I am thankful technology-- of all kinds (medical equipment, phones, computer etc.) 

28. I am thankful my health.

27. I am thankful for a marriage based on Christ (more on this... see #2) 

26. I am thankful for the ability and heart to give. 

25. I am thankful for smiles. 

24. I am thankful for hugs. 

23. I am thankful for an optimistic heart. 

22. I am thankful for the ability to read and write. 

21. I am thankful a full stomach, a warm/cool (depending on the season) house, dry clothes, shoes and a vehicle. 

20. I am thankful for God giving me a courageous heart to face more and work harder for things that seem impossible. 

19. I am thankful for a love of traveling and discovery. 

18. I am thankful to get an education... from my high school diploma, to bachelors and (almost) my masters. 

17. I am thankful for the members of our armed forces... especially my husband (See #2 below) God bless America! (Tune in Friday for a post honoring Veteran's day!) 

16. I am thankful to live int he United States of America... our freedoms are such a blessing!

15. I am thankful for God's continual provision... He always provides and comes through... even when we don't expect it!! 

14. I am thankful  for growing up in an agricultural community-- it gives me such a deep appreciation for those produce our food.

13. I am thankful for God calling me to blog daily... it has been a challenge, but the rewards and support from my loyal readers (like you!) have made this ministry remarkable. 

12. I am thankful to work at such an awesome church with incredible Christian leaders. I learn something every day. (As I write this, we are at a three-day long overnight staff retreat... that's dedication.)  

11. I am thankful for my faith-- without it, I would be so lost. But I am found and do have hope! Praise the Lord!

10. I am thankful for laughter. In general. 

9. I am thankful that God has given me the ability to work out, strive to be in shape, enjoy it (most of the time) and find success!

8. I am thankful for my motivation. (Open to interpretation)

7. I am thankful for my personality that God has given that lends to coaching, pep-talking and ministering to others. 

6. I am thankful for my call to ministry. It was completely unexpected, but has already been so rewarding, challenging and rejuvenating all at once. 

5. I am thankful for our baby dog Sweet Justus-- his demeanor and personality can bring a smile to my face anytime. Plus, who doesn't love puppy cuddles? 

4. I am thankful for my siblings and friends who always support me... no matter what hairbrained idea I have thought up. (Or they speak the truth in love and tell me to go ahead and rethink my crazy plans) 

3. I am thankful for my parents who raised me to be a strong and independent woman. 

2. I am thankful for God giving me a husband who is so patient with my moments of emotional roller-coasterness and that he is so dedicated to his job as a soldier, drill sergeant, infantryman and to myself and our marriage that is based on Christ. 

1. I am thankful for a God who loves me SO MUCH He gave His son for me... No matter what I do, how bad I screw up, He is always there ready to pick me up and love on me. He never leaves me and His love NEVER runs out. He's never disappointed in me.  So thankful for my salvation!

I challenge you just take a few moments today (or each day) this month to think about and thank God for the blessings in your life. I can guarantee that if you keep it up, you will experience an amazing transformation within your heart. And you never know... you might even carry over this tradition of Thanksgiving into other months of the year. Embrace an attitude of gratitude this "ThanksVember." 

With a Thankful Heart, 

SGK  

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." --Colossians 2:6-7

The Perfect Cheer

Sometimes you just gotta have FUN. 

This past Saturday, we had the opportunity to host our 2nd Annual Christ Community Church SERVE Banquet. It was a remarkable opportunity for all of us to get together and say THANK YOU to all of our amazing volunteers who serve within our church. 

As an added bonus to some great brunch food  served by our staff, our volunteers got another surprise. A chance to laugh. Hysterically. 

Kelli (my boss-- you remember me mentioning her before-- she's kinda cool) and our admin guru Brad had created a "little skit" for the entertainment AND encouragement for our volunteers. It. Was. Hilarious. 

I was privileged to serve as choreographer/drama coach. My comments during rehearsal included "Kelli, be a little ditzier" and "Brad, don't break your face when you do a pretend cartwheel." (I'm sure these comments were REAL constructive. HA) 

Oh, did I mention that this skit was based off of the Will Ferrell and Cheri O'Teri Spartan Cheerleaders skit from Saturday night live? 

In one word: EPIC. 

Brad & Kelli... Cheering on those who serve and volunteer within God's
Kingdom... Let's just say, they were pretty enthusiastic. 

Kelli and Brad did the whole bit-- changing R-O-W-D-I-E cheer to "S-E-R-V-I-N, that's the way we spell servin', servin', hey hey servin', HUH!" Kelli asked about her hair (don't worry, Brad spoke the truth in love and told her she had split ends.) They even did a satirical tribute in the form of song by singing the chorus/changing the words and tune a bit of "Thank You for Giving to the Lord." Yes, it was complete with the ribbon dance similar to the gymnastics competition on Will Ferrell's movie "Old School." 

I was back in the sound booth, helping run the slides and holding up a long-stemmed lighter during the song. At one point I looked over at a choir member sitting in the audience and she had her hands over her face she was laughing so hard. I looked at our Senior Pastor Keith, and his face was beet red from laughing. 

Did I mention this skit was epic? 

Believe it or not, there is a point to this story, other than to simply reminisce about a hilarious ministry experience. While the skit was somewhat unorthodox, it was an amazing way to THANK our volunteers.  The staff wouldn't be able to do what we do without the numerous volunteers pouring countless hours to serving God's kingdom for His glory. 

If you are a volunteer at CCC, at another church or serve in any other capacity in His kingdom anywhere in the world, I want to thank you. If you work with volunteers, then take some time to sincerely  THANK them for all they do. Because they are "AWESOME, SO HOT, VOLUNTEERS GONNA ROCK IT TO THE TOP..." 

Brad and Kelli ended the skit with "THE PERFECT CHEER," which was a choreographed dance to the music of M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This." To all of the servant leaders out there: keep in mind that YOUR volunteering doesn't go unseen by our Father... Someday, when you get to heaven, He will greet you at the gate, say "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" And lemme tell you what... there isn't gonna be a more PERFECT CHEER than that! 

In gratitude, 

SGK 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."   

–Colossians 3:23-24

Army Strong... God Strong!

Being an army wife is...                     

I leave that statement blank because my army-wife life/attitude varies daily. Some of the adjectives that can fill in that blank include rewarding, frustrating, educational, encouraging, challenging, exciting etc.  I never regret my decision to walk down the aisle with my beloved Infantryman/Drill Sergeant Brandon, but I must admit that sometimes I question how God decided to call me to this experience. But then I remember 1 Thessalonians 5:24-- "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

Before I get too far into this, I want to encourage those of you who might not be married to the military that the following content applies to WHATEVER God has called you to... Whether it is business, parenthood, ministry, counseling, athletics, whatever, the one who has called you to it is faithful and WILL do it. 

As for me, today here at Fort Benning, our company, Foxtrot 2-58, picks up a new basic training cycle. For those new wives and others outside the military, the entire cycle is broken down into five phases, each lasting three weeks long. The first portion is called Red Phase. It's intense. 

Granted, I'm not getting hollered at by the Drill Sergeants (thankfully) and I am not being asked to climb to the top of eagle tower or wake up at 0400 every day. But it is still intense for us wives/families left at home. Whatever the trainees are asked to do, our husband Drill Sergeants are asked to do more... get up earlier, stay later... we we really don't see much of them for the next 3-6 wks, except on the occasional nights they get to come home and sleep under the same roof for about 4-ish hours. And lemme tell you, I am not exactly at my prime between the hours of 2300 and 0300... So interaction is limited. 

This is only my second red phase. For some of the more experienced army wives, husband separations are really no big deal. But I'm a newbie, with about 13 months of army wife-ness under my belt. Last cycle was  challenging for me because I didn't know what to expect. I was fighting a battle, as many of us do on a daily basis. (Check out The Enemy Doesn't Wear Combat Boots for another perspective/encouragement.) I like having a semi-set schedule and enjoy the companionship of my husband... and with the army, sometimes that just doesn't happen. Needless to say, I had some "words" with God last cycle. (Great news: He loved me through it all and never left me!) 

Being an army wife takes practice. I look at other army wives and wonder how in the name of chocolate sauce they were so calm and legit about the chaos that is army wife life. Then I remember: Oh yeah. They have been doing this for seven, twelve, fifteen years. When I first had THAT revelation, I had about 8 months of experience under my belt. Army spouse separation  is kind of like yoga... to be that flexible, it takes practice. It might hurt a little bit when you stretch. And you might pull a muscle. But keep practicing! 

Brandon and I have been through several army-induced separations... We lived in different states when we first started dating (weekend see ya laters were yucky!) then he deployed. Eight months later he proposed while on leave... followed by another see ya later as he went back to Iraq for four more months. We got married, then he left for two months for drill sergeant school. Then we moved to Georgia and had our first basic training cycle. 

With each separation, the anticipation of the event was (almost) worse than the actual goodbye. My amazing Mama raised me to be independent, I'm cool with doing my own thing. And once Brandon is gone, serving his country and doing "stuff with things" I am in my "go time" mindset (thanks, God.) But to adequately describe that moment of relief, I use the analogy of getting a shot. See, I despise needles. As we plan for our next big army challenge, all the talk about it was like someone sitting in front of me, holding a needle, reminding me that the "shot" was coming. Yuck. 

But when the moment finally comes, I realize that the anticipation is much worse than the actual event. Don't get me wrong... there are still PUH-LENTY of challenges after he leaves/goes to work. Many boxes of Kleenexes are used, several pieces of chocolate are consumed and my punching bag in the garage is routinely punished. But over time, I have grow more and more accustomed to fulfilling these words from 1 Chronicles 16:11-- "Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always."

So today I celebrate the beginning of a new cycle and new red phase. (Never in a bajillion years thought I would say that!) Why do I celebrate? Because God HAS and continues to grow me in this process. There isn't a huge knot in my stomach of nerves and separation, but rather a confidence that God is molding my heart and attitude to follow Him. He has called me to be an army wife... to be eternally in love and dedicated to my husband, but also to know that Christ is The One that is ALWAYS here with me, through deployments, red phases, trainings etc. 

Today I celebrate and give thanks that we are not just an Army of One... but rather an Army of the Son! 

Today, I celebrate and give thanks that I am not just Army Strong... But I am God Strong. 

For all of you out there, fighting your battles, dealing with challenges, military or otherwise... I pray that you TOO are God Strong. 

Fulfilling God's Call, 

SGK 

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." --Psalm 18:32

Good "Time-ing"

"Time flies when you're having fun." 

"Time is money." 

"About time!" 

"Time's a-wastin!"

How many times a day (pun intended) do you mention or think about time? Most of us are on a schedule. And many say there there isn't enough "time" in each day to get things done. If you are feeling overwhelmed with the lack of time in your life, this one's for you. Don't let your schedule own you. YOU have the chance to own it! And believe it or not, God will help you with this. 

I recently started a new eight-week semester for my masters program. It just so happens that it is my LAST (Praise You, seven pound, fourteen ounce baby Jesus!) Usually the first week of class is relatively chill... but there are exceptions to every rule. Between my two new classes, I had several chapters to read in a total of four different books, three sets of notes to review, two course requirement checklists, two discussion board posts, replies to those posts, and three (yes THREE) papers. Seriously? 

I was going a little bonkers with life there for a little while... then ironically (divinely) one of the papers I had to write for a leadership class was about "time management" and weekly scheduling. Needless to say, I was less than thrilled. For real? I have a handle on this stuff... but as I thought about my "techniques" of time management and began having conversations with others, many said that they too wanted so ideas on "managing time." 

So here you go. Here is an abbreviated version of my time management strategy... Keep in mind that every tiny second of our 168 hour weeks are truly privilege to live in, given by God to be used for His glory. As I look back on the below paper excerpt, I can't help but think that my writing of it was heavenly good time-ing for my heart, soul, mind, strength... and hopefully for you too! 

******

God has significantly blessed me throughout my life with a variety of leadership experience and training on both goal setting and time management. My parents raised me with an exceptional work ethic, for which I am very thankful. However, with that work ethic comes a drive to be involved and stay committed in many different ways. I have learned about and implemented strategies that have and continue to allow me to successfully manage my time. 

Right now, God is challenging me with time management, as I am an army spouse. The military can change their schedule multiple times without prior notice, which ultimately impacts my home life and interaction with my beloved. This is teaching me to be flexible and patient. It is a hard lesson to learn, but one I deem extremely valuable. I enjoy setting a schedule in my head (or on paper if necessary) called my “battle plan.” Sometimes the military throws a pretty profound kink into my battle plan but I have learned that as long as I hold onto my priorities and cling to Christ, I will find success. 

The first step is determining my goals and priorities. For the purpose of this exercise, I will reference my weekly schedule. My goals include important things that MUST get done during the week, which encompass my priorities. Personal priorities include time with God, church service, work, homework, husband/relationship time, exercise, blogging and time for self. These are what I refer to as my “big rocks.” I have witnessed many demonstrations regarding priorities, focusing on the “big rocks” concept. Big rocks represent priorities, marbles represent the things that I might want to get done but aren’t vital, then sand includes the “extra” stuff, including TV, Facebook etc. A vase or bucket represents the space or hours I have in a week. 

If I do these things in the wrong order, such as put the sand in first, then marbles followed by the big rocks, it won’t all fit into my "weekly calendar." However, if I put my big rocks (most important things) in first as a priority, then the marbles and allow the sand to fill in the gaps, all of my activities fit in the bucket (or week) perfectly. It’s all about prioritizing! 

I am also blessed not to be a procrastinator. My ability to prioritize and plan in advance allows me flexibility to work smarter not hard. The sooner I get one task done, the less I have to plan time to do it. I also embrace the concept of “eat the frog.” If I have a task that I am dreading or don’t enjoy as much as the others, I do it first. The idea is that if you “eat a frog” (figuratively) first thing in the morning, that will be the toughest thing you do all day. My frogs include huge research papers and exercise, which is why I do those early to get them out of the way and move on with my day stress free, able to focus on my other big rocks. 

<Sidenote: I also mentioned the importance of "Sharpening the Saw" from Stephen Covey's 7 Habits for Highly Effective People... to read a more detailed description,  view the previous post of Look Sharp Out There! >

Another time management and planning strategy that I implement in my life includes learning to say no. I have found myself several different points in my life so involved and busy that I didn’t allow time for family or myself. Now that I am married (especially as he is a Drill Sergeant) I know that saying no to outside commitments on occasion is a great way to prioritize and protect our relationship. I need “sacred time” with my husband. Between deployments, trainings, schools and now training soldiers in basic training, my husband and I are separated quite frequently. This has taught me that the time we can have together is important and very precious. I don’t take it for granted and find myself drawing the line to outside meetings and commitments to cultivate our relationship with both each other and God. 

Prayer is another factor that contributes to my weekly schedule, as I specifically ask God that if it is His will, for Him to allow me to accomplish my weekly goals for His glory. He has transformed me to no longer stress out about my busy schedule, but rather rely on Him to provide strength, guidance and discernment. Every single thing on my calendar from husband time to interning at the church to homework to exercise I try to do for His glory. My morning alarm that I wake up to even plays a song including the lyrics “Lord I offer you all I am, use it for your glory!”

Time management is very important for Christian leaders and I have found my planning capabilities to provide a solid balance incorporating productivity, learning, God-time, physical health and rest. God empowers me to focus on my schedule for His glory each day and roll with the punches when additional or more pressing issues arise, all while keeping me relatively unstressed and eyes focused toward heaven.

****
Time marches on,
SGK

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..." --Ecclesiastes 3:1

Marriage on "The Rock"

Big news from the entertainment world, America. Are you sitting down? Ready? 

Another celebrity marriage has failed. 

Yep, Kim Kardashian's marriage has failed after 72 days. Honestly, I have never watched her show or anything associated with her other than the commercials that sneak in between whatever program I am watching. But the "news" of her divorce is all over the media, so it's hard to miss it. Which started me thinking... 

I am not going to judge her and get all fire and brimstone... Because my mom always told me not to play with matches and I am not even sure what "brimstone" involves. But the fact that I was completely not surprised by the failed marriage actually took me by surprise. It saddened me. What has happened to us that we are no longer SHOCKED about marriages that fail? 

In 16 days from this writing, I will turn 26 years old. I can name off the top of my head at least five couples around my age-ish (many younger) that are already married... and divorced. If I actually thought about it, I bet I could name so many folks that have gotten divorced that I would run out of fingers and toes.  Every time I see a friend's status on Facebook switch from "Married" to "Single" or hear about a pending divorce, I get knots in my stomach. I have literally sat WEEPING over Facebook pages looking at the broken hearts of those getting divorced. 

I wish we were still at a place where people splitting up within marriage WAS big news... but sadly, it's not. A lot of folks get married for the wrong reasons. They are physically attracted to each other, get along with each other, are compatible, etc... These are all important to be INCLUDED, but cannot be the sole reason for walking down the aisle. Because life happens and things change. If the marriage isn't based on something stronger and deeper, they too might be another "status changing" victim. 

One of the main reasons I hear of why people get divorced is because the other person doesn't "make them happy anymore." Guess what? They aren't supposed to make you happy. Sure, it would be great if you enjoy marriage (and you will if it is based on a solid foundation) but if we were happy all the time with no changes, challenges and struggles... then that would be HEAVEN. And we aren't there yet. Life sucks sometimes... and divorce isn't the answer. 

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."

That being said, let's take a look at the "traditional" wedding vows: 

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Note the bolded words. These "traditional" vows mean what they say... Not how people sometimes "modify" them in their head: 

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold for a little while, for the good times and rarely the challenging times, as long as we always have enough cash, whenever we feel health and morale is good, to occasionally love but reserve the right to ignore you if needed from this day forward until I get bored, unhappy or something better comes along.

Big difference huh? I would like to think you are shocked by what I wrote... but I believe the second set  of vows are heartbreakingly true for so many couples in this world. Marriage is a wonderful, sacred and blessed experience given to us by God but yet we change it to make it a potential source of pain. 

There are a few very rare and potential biblical exceptions for divorce,  such as adultery (ish), abuse, and being "yoked" (together) with an unbeliever.  This topic gets WAY sticky and would require at least another blog post (or twelve) to cover. Know that I'm not condemning those who have divorced. Not at all. God still loves ALL of us, unconditionally, no matter what. But consider what marriage truly means... Jesus doesn't divorce us from his love whenever we mess up or make him "unhappy." 

I want to encourage those who ARE married to evaluate where your marriage is built. Is it built on Christ, the solid rock? Or some other characteristic that is like sinking sand? It's not too late to get on the rock. For those of you single folks, understand the gravity and awesomeness of marriage, so that if you are called to be married, your eyes, ears and heart will be open and ready to build it on The Rock. 

Realigning the sanctity of marriage (especially in this country) seems like a tall order. It isn't going to happen tomorrow... but remember that a quick bailout in the form of divorce isn't the best immediate solution. Instead of running away from a marriage on the rocks... pray and seek to built it as a Marriage on THE ROCK. 

A "ROCK-y" marriage is a good thing, 

SGK 

PS-- Please, please let me know if I can help you in any way-- via prayer, marriage resources etc... I'm not a pro by any means, but I want your marriage to succeed... not simply become a statistic! Let's celebrate our Marriages on THE ROCK!