A Taste Test: Bitter to sweet

It was the summer before my 5th grade year. We had just moved to southeast Kansas a couple months ago. It was blazing hot July in our little trailer house that we had just "planted" in the middle of a bean field. (Literally.) I was bored. Which made me hungry. Which made me curious. 

I decided that Mom had to have something interesting to snack on in our pantry or cabinet. I was a short kid (still am at 5' 2") so I enlisted the help of a kitchen chair. I scooted it across the floor and parked it in front of the pantry. I climbed up and peered onto the top shelf... JACKPOT. 

I had discovered something I was not expecting to find... a Country Crock Butter container. I picked it up and shook. It was heavy. I climbed down, excited to see what was hidden in this precious yet odd storage device. I popped open the lid and... 

"Well poo," I thought to myself. I peered into the container to find a grainy white crystal-like substance. "Now why would Mom store sugar hidden on the top shelf in a butter container?" I wondered. My 10 year old mind deduced that it had to be SPECIAL sugar. Being the curious (and hungry) kid I was, I shoved my face in the bowl, stuck out my tongue with anticipation, ready for sweet, sugary goodness to flood my taste buds. 

"Phhhhhsssssssssssssfffffffffffffffttttttttttttt!" I spat out my "treasure" so fast that I swirled backwards and nearly tripped over the kitchen chair. "GAH! WHAT IS THAT STUFF?!?!" 

I found out later that it was not, in fact, some special magical sugar that my Mom was hiding... it was picking salt. 

Talk about a curiosity fail, huh? Apparently there was a REASON why it was hidden... so people wouldn't mistake it for sugar. It was not only a surprise, but it was nasty-- very bitter. (Don't believe me? Try it. I dare you.) 

Sixteen years later, I have learned my lesson not to stick my tongue into an unlabeled Country Crock butter container (not to mention that I have improved my etiquette skills... gross!) However, I have also noticed that I still sometimes approach life situations the same way I did with that pickling salt. 

There are a lot of things in life that can really frustrate a person. I personally try to chill out and lean on Christ when I can... but hey, I am still a sinner. Sometimes I really struggle with bitterness. Let me explain. 

When something (or someone) upsets me, occasionally instead of being slow to anger and quick to forgive, I treat the situation like the pickling salt. I go after it, convinced that my zeal or focus on the other person (or thing) will make me feel sweet inside and satisfy a "need" through revenge or vengeance. "I will show them," I think. 

But here's the thing. I am always surprised when my hope of something sugary turns out to be a nasty, bitter experience that I wasn't expecting. Instead of solving the issue and addressing it right away, I tend to take things into my own hands and allow the negative thoughts to churn in my heart (Thanks a lot, Satan. What a jerk. SIGH.) 

After awhile, I realize there is ZERO, zippo, nada sweetness in my frustration. It tastes bitter. And bitterness does nothing to the other thing/person... I read a quote once that I have since internalized to help me release the bitterness and frustration I might be inclined to harbor: "Being bitter is like drinking a bottle of poison and waiting for the other person (or thing) to die." 

Christ is at work on my heart.  He is making me see things in a different light and telling me to HOLD UP before sticking my tongue into the figurative "butter container" that is that tough situation in my life.  He helps me to step back and think about the consequences of my actions and what it is going to do to ME internally. I don't like the taste of pickling salt on my tongue... and I REALLY don't like the hurting, self-induced feeling of bitterness in my heart. 

Are you harboring any deep bitterness against anyone (or anything) in your life? Do you continue to stick your tongue into the pickling salt with negative results every time? Let go of the anger, resentment and bitterness. It isn't hurting anyone but yourself. Allow the love of Christ to teach you how to turn FIRST to HIM in those situations of trial  and frustration for a bit of a "taste test..." and He will turn that taste from bitter to sweet! 

A new kind of bitter-sweet,

SGK 

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." 

--Ephesians 4:31-32

The Best is Yet to Come

So yeah. Yesterday was my birthday. (It was awesome, by the way. Thanks to everyone who shared the love with me!) 

But as I welcomed this new year of my life, I spent some time reflecting, where I have been, where I am now, where I am going. God has directed my path, and I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite poems. You might have heard of it: It's called "The Dash" by Linda Ellis. I have read it and/or watched it many times, but every time it still gives me goosebumps. 

To get the true impact of this fantastic poem, check out the following video link:  

Simple Truths: The Dash Movie

Awesome huh? I will give you a moment to collect yourself. 

I have also heard a few different versions of the following story, which is great perspective shifter when it comes to living our lives with all we have for Christ. 

A woman was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given three months to live. She asked her Pastor to come to her home to discuss her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at her funeral, and what scriptures she wanted read, and which outfit she wanted to be buried in. Then she said, “One more thing… I want to be buried with a fork in my hand.” The pastor was surprised.

The woman explained, “In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably say to everyone, ‘Keep your fork.’ It was my favorite time of the dinner, because I knew something better was coming, like velvety chocolate cake or deep dish apple pie – something wonderful. So, I want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and wonder, “What’s with the fork?” Then, I want you to tell them, “Keep your fork, because the best is yet to come.”

The pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he bid the woman goodbye. He realized she had a better grasp of heaven than he did, and knew something better was coming. At the funeral, when people asked him why she was holding a fork, the pastor told them of the conversation he had with the woman before she died. He said he could not stop thinking about the fork, and knew they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. 

“Keep Your Fork. The best is yet to come.”

This post isn't meant to be a Debbie Downer. For me, it's uplifting and exciting! Life is short and that's ok! We will someday get to be WITH HIM!! God gives us a limited time on this earth to fulfill His purpose. Live for Him. He won't let you down and will empower you to make the most of your DASH. And make sure you keep your fork... Because the best IS yet to come. 

Doing the Dash with a fork in my hand, 

SGK 

“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath." Psalm 39:4-5

You can't out-give THAT!

It was November 17, 1985. The blistering cold north wind whipped through the trees in a small northwest Kansas County. A redheaded Kansas rancher lovingly helped his petite yet round little wife to the truck.  Their life changing moment was creeping closer with each passing second.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was the day I was born. I would say that it changed my life, but to be more accurate, it BEGAN my life. Several hours after arriving at Phillips County Hospital and some pretty intense tugs of the forceps later, I made my entrance in the world.  (Don’t believe me about the forceps part? I still have the bald spot on the right side of my head to prove it. Don’t worry. The doctor said it would grow back in a few weeks. 26 years later, I’m still waiting…)

Anyway… I don’t tell you the story of my birthday to dig up showers of birthday wishes and glory. (Although, if anyone is so inclined, I enjoy things that involve chocolate, books, God and shiny stuff. Kidding.) But I share this with you because 26 years later, I am very thankful for my time on this earth.  And believe it or not, it’s not about me receiving birthday stuff… but this is about giving. (Hang tight—I’m getting there.)

I wasn’t really "supposed" to be here. My parents tried for two years to have a baby and had given up. Then, surprise! Wish granted. Shortly after they announced the excitement of their first baby, Mama was put on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy because it was such a high-risk pregnancy. Nature sure is complicated, huh?

But as it turns out, God had a plan—and His plan was to give my parents a 7 lbs, 14 oz little girl named Sharita Gwen Lacey. And he had plans for this little girl… most of which have really taken off (in somewhat of a crazy manner) this last year.

God is a giver. He gave me life.  Hence, He is a giver of life. He has given me friends and family who loves me. He has given me a husband who constantly supports me and puts up with what deem “the emotional roller-coaster that is being a woman.” He has gifted me to write and minister to others. God continues to give and provide for us daily: financially, emotionally, spiritually. It BLOWS MY MIND. Seriously.

I think there is a reason that it is called “giving birth.” It’s a painful experience (so I’ve heard) and yet daddies and mommies throughout the world continue to create families to experience the joy of giving life to another. Awesome parents (like mine) give their heart to raise their little girl (or boy) to be a potentially successful and happy adult. Then, if it is in God’s plan, they eventually give that baby-now adult over to someone to love and cherish, just as Christ loved the church.

And just maybe that baby just might grow into a woman who, on her 26^th birthday, is a writer, army wife, leader, lover of life and minister of the Lord Jesus Christ. I wonder if they knew THAT was going to be the result of their efforts as they cleaned up my messes and dealt with my childish (not to mention outrageous teenage) antics?

My walk with Christ has taught me to give until it hurts. I have also learned that you can’t out-give God. He has proven time and time again that each time I give ANYTHING, he “pays” it back to me ten-fold. I have experienced that on about four different occasions in the last week. Each time He so generously gives to me, it brings me to my knees.

Moms everywhere literally give until it hurts when it comes to bringing a child into this world. Dads give until it hurts when they watch their daughter walk down the aisle into the arms of her new husband. And God gave until it hurt, in the form of His son… on the cross.

Today, on my 26^th birthday, I am filled with gratitude for the people who have given so much to me throughout my life. I am so grateful to worship a God who gave his son for ME. And for YOU. Talk about giving until it hurts. And we definitely can’t out-give THAT. 

To give is to receive,

SGK

“We give thanks to you, O God, we give thanks, for your Name is near; men tell of your wonderful deeds.” --Psalm 75:1

Go Towards the Light

I don’t know about you, but a Mexican restaurant in a small Kansas town sure sets the stage for a great day. 

Ok, I will admit it—it wasn’t the actual restaurant that made yesterday so remarkable. But it was the company. I was blessed with the opportunity to dine (hence the reference to the Mexican restaurant) and chat with a long time family friend (and essentially mother/coach/cheerleader to all members of our community) named Susie. 

Honestly, I didn’t really know how much I missed great conversations until chatting with Susie… for FIVE HOURS. That’s right, people. We talked for five straight hours. Topics of conversation included: marriage, army, her kids, family, traveling, God, ministry… need I continue? You name it, we probably talked about it. 

Bottom line, it was awesome—my heart is so full and rejuvenated! WHAAWHOO! Susie just happens to be a pastor’s wife here in good ol’ Colony, Kansas, so our conversations about God and my call to ministry were very affirming. As I sit here and write, I just revel in His goodness and glory! 

As we talked about everything under the sun, Susie shared with me a remarkable quote that I would like to share with you: 

“When you are in the Dark, don’t question the decisions you made in the Light.” 

Wow. It really spoke to me, because I have experienced that first hand. When I am down in the figurative trenches or the “bowels” of the earth that is when The Enemy attacks the hardest. He knows that the most effect way to attack me is to plant tiny seeds of doubt in my brain about the decisions I made IN THE LIGHT that were very clearly ordained by God. 

You might have noticed in past blog posts that I have struggled a bit with my call to ministry as well my call as an army wife. Those two things aren’t easy when they are separate entities… but when they are joined together, The Enemy seems to have a heyday messing my faith and tries to draw me away from the light. But fortunately, I believe in a God who can strengthen me to conquer ANYTHING. Can I get an Amen?!? 

These past few days at home have been an intense (yet refreshing) time of reflection for me, primarily because I have finally been able to share my call to ministry with my friends/family face to face. God is using this opportunity to strengthen my heart and renew my spirit… Especially through the uplifting conversations with friends/mentors like Susie. 

My time with Susie concluded as we stood in her kitchen five hours later. Her quote about not questioning decisions made in the light resonated in my brain. We had laughed (ok, guffawed!), joked, cried, prayed, and reflected together. I looked at her and said “Who would have thought four or five or even one year ago, we would be standing here now, talking about God, theology, Scripture and my call to ministry?!” 

Darling Susie looked right back at me with twinkling eyes and said, “I did.” 

If that’s not an earthly confirmation of my calling, I don’t know what is. Our whole conversation today was uplifting—or as I “typo-ed” earlier, “uplighting!” Susie is the first of many friends that I plan to meet and share my spiritual journey with during my time here in Kansas. She has encouraged me to hold fast to my faith and to resist the Enemy’s attempts at allowing me to question (in the dark) any decisions that God has helped me make in the light… In fact, this is a time where we can go TOWARDS the light… because in that light we find hope in Jesus Christ. 

Flippin’ the Switch, 

SGK 

“…For it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it said: ‘Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” –Ephesians 5:14 

A Spirit of Discovery

I’m not gonna lie… Sometimes I miss being a little kid.

Ok, I will admit—I am still clinging to some of my childish ways, like getting really excited to go out for ice cream (although now I prefer frozen yogurt) or enjoying a good Disney movie (most recent favorite: Tangled.) But as I returned home to Kansas for a visit, my little dog Justus reminded me of childhood aspect that we should all hold onto.

This was Justus’ first road trip out of state… we covered six states during our 15 hour drive. After conquering about 12 hours of our journey the first day, we stopped in Springfield, Missouri. I had planned ahead a booked a pet-friendly hotel so I didn’t have to deal with the stresses of smuggling a tiny dog into my room and keeping him quiet. When we arrived to our room, I turned Justus loose… and watched.

He went bonkers. Not “destroy-everything-in-sight” bonkers, but more like “oh-my-goodness-I’m-out-of-the-car-and-experiencing-something-new!” bonkers. He was leaping and rolling and running and sniff, sniff, sniffing, leaving no corner of the room untouched. Justus was so overwhelmed and excited for all of the new discoveries!

The same thing happened when we arrived at my parent’s house the following day (and the pattern continues as I write.) He has sniffed out (and rolled in) a variety of new things, which included meeting 14 chickens, looking at roosters through a crack in the trailer door, trying to be a tough dog by intimidating our small herd of cattle, and running like a wild farm dog with our three cattle dogs and the red-bone coon dog puppy Cletus. (Note: I did NOT pick that dog’s name. Ha.)

Justus has a spirit of discovery. Children have a similar spirit of discovery, which starts the moment they are born. Little by little, babies discover new things: How their hands work, that mommy makes funny faces, how to walk, what the word NO means, the list goes on and on… This whole reflection made me think: Do I still have a spirit of discovery?

Even as we grow up and mature, physically and spiritually, we can hold onto our precious spirit of discovery. God desires us to seek Him out—the more we do, the more we can discover about Him. My master’s degree studies have aided me in discovering new little tidbits about God and Christianity. Almost every time I open the Bible, I discover something new, primarily because God reveals it to me.  Little discoveries are lurking around every corner!

Holding onto the spirit of discovery doesn’t automatically happen. We have to intentionally seek out new experiences, whether it is meeting someone new, doing a new Bible study or traveling to a new location. Do you still have a spirit of discovery? What makes your heart excited? Go after it! Discover!

I personally look forward to the new discovery opportunities that God allows me to experience every day. With prayer and a willing heart, we can all hold onto that child-like faith and spirit of discovery!

Loving life’s surprises, 

SGK

“Those who discover these words live, really live; body and soul, they’re bursting with health.” –Proverbs 4:22 (MSG) 

Home Sweet Home

The highway stretched out before me… I look to my left, and there is a pasture full of cows with their new fall calves. On my right, a paddock with a few head of horses lounging in the Kansas mid-morning sun. I crack my car window just a smidge. I take a deep breath as the air rushes in, tousling my hair. I turn to my faithful baby dog traveling companion in the passenger seat, smile and say “Justus… we are almost HOME!” 

He just looks back at me, half quizzically, half exasperated, shooting me a glance that says “LET ME OUT OF THIS CAR… NOW.” See, we had been driving approximately 15 hours over a two-day span from Fort Benning, Georgia to Southeast Kansas. I hadn’t been home in over six months… but we were almost there!! 

The last couple of days here in Kansas have been great. Being away from home that long really makes me appreciate all of the little things that make home HOME. Little things like listening to my teenaged brother (who, might I add, is ginormously tall, skinny and awkward now—hello puberty!) bicker with my Dad about appropriate doing of the farm chores. Or laughing hysterically at Justus as he meets a variety of new creatures, from the small pack of dogs that my parents own (three cow dogs, two coon dogs), to chickens, cattle and horses. Not to mention all the new smells that this puppy has never experienced before. Can you say sensory overload? 

We can’t forget the thrill of going to our local Wal-Mart to get groceries, which resulted in a mini reunion/social experience involving conversations with two of my high school classmates, three parents of schoolmates, one of my brother’s teachers and one of our dear neighbors. Small world in Anderson County, Kansas. And believe it or not, I’ve missed it. 

There are so many things that I now appreciate about being HOME, from gravel roads to coyotes howling to the November moon rising over the trees. But as I was reflecting on the rejuvenating experience that is a little quality home-time, I started to think about God… And how if this is great, how AWESOME is our final home gonna be?!? 

Sometimes it’s hard to grasp the magnitude of being home with Jesus. We can only imagine what it is going to be like. But all I know is that if I get such a thrill from making Tutti Frutti jelly with Mama in the kitchen and lounging with a non-school book in comfy pants with my family in the living room, then heaven is going to ROCK. 

When I first started this blog, one of the reasons (in addition to the biblical premise) that I called it “More Precious than Rubies” was that I was born and raised in Kansas. For Halloween, I was Dorothy, Brandon was the Scarecrow and Justus was Toto from the Wizard of Oz. And I was so excited for this trip HOME that I might have possibly kinda sorta packed my ruby slippers. Now that is “precious.” 

We can all enjoy the time that we have on this earth, wherever God calls us to go from Kansas to Georgia to who-knows-where. But we can also look forward to eternity with Him! How remarkable is THAT?!?! Home with my friends/family is blessed… Home in Georgia with my beloved Brandon and puppy is wonderful… But someday, reunited, resting at HOME in Heaven? Now THAT is gonna be HOME SWEET HOME! 

There’s no place like home, 

SGK 

“We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” --2 Corinthians 5:8 

Veteran's Day Every day

Today's post is very simple. I didn't write this to simply jump on the bandwagon. It's Veteran's day... but for me, as a military spouse (and many of you spouses, parents, daughters, sons, aunts, uncles, friends, grandparent) EVERYDAY is Veteran's Day. 

My beloved has been in the army for nearly eight years. I've been in the picture about three of those (ish.)  It is rewarding. It is frustrating. It is cool. It is ever-changing. It is uncertain.  Big picture speaking, our veterans are an incredible blessing. 

A couple of days ago, I was trying to explain to a very deep-thinking politically-minded friend of mine the purpose behind some of the actions of our military... it isn't just political decisions or picking fights over petroleum. For many soldiers, especially my husband Brandon, it is much deeper than that. 

April 7. 2010... right of the
 planecoming home
from Iraq for leave...
He proposed. I said yes.

Honestly, I will never understand the full extent of what it means to fight for our country. Sure, we spouses deal with a lot when it comes to deployments, early mornings, late nights, changed schedules, holidays/special occasions missed etc. But I will never be able to grasp the feeling of honor, passion and nobility that comes with the job to which my husband is so dedicated. 

He trains when he is wet, tired, hungry, hot, cold, lonely, sick. Even more, he trains others under those conditions as well. Just so we can experience political freedom and safety that so many of us (myself included) take for granted. 

I have never been deployed. I haven't lived in a desert for more than a year on three separate occasions. I haven't been separated from my family for an extensive time period in a foreign country playing musical time zones. I have never missed funerals or weddings of family members due to being engaged in combat on foreign soil. I have never watched a battle buddy lose his life. I have never had to call my spouse to say that duty calls again and I won't be home yet. 

Brandon has. He fights for our country... yet at the same time he still fights for our marriage. All because his eyes never stray from looking up, focusing on Christ. I am thankful for MY veteran. 

August 5, 2010. He returned home from his third
tour in Iraq. This time, he came back to a fiance. 

It simply overwhelms me to think of the sacrifices that my husband and his battle buddies make daily. In our (almost) three year relationship, we have yet to spend a full Veteran's day together. Freedom knows no holiday. He's hard at work today, training "baby soldiers" in basic training as we speak and I am en route to Kansas to visit family. 

I feel remarkably blessed to have a chance to love and support such a wonderful man, and have a man who loves and supports ME! While I have slept alone more nights than I can count, cried more than I would like to admit, consumed more chocolate (and wine) than I should have, yelled at God more often (and louder) than necessary, it's all been worth it. Because I have also cried tears of joy, had so many reunion butterflies in my stomach I though I would float away, and understand at a deep level the value of our time together.  

Through it all, God's love for me has never changed. And neither has Brandon's... It's only grown stronger. 

Today, I am thankful that I have the freedom to write this, to say what I want. I have more freedoms than I honestly know what to do with. For the most part, I can do what I want, when I want to do it.  All because of the countless sacrifices that people (soldiers and wives/families alike) have made defending our great nation. As the saying goes: "All gave some, some gave all." 

October 2, 2010... It's official. 

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Once died for your soul, the other died for your freedom. 

11-11-11 isn't the only day that I am thankful for veterans. For me, as an army spouse and Christian, I am thankful for soldiers AND Jesus... because for me, everyday is Veteran's Day. 

American by birth, Christian by the Grace of God,

SGK 

"And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." Hebrews 10:10

April 1, 2011. My beloved adds "Drill Sergeant" to his
Army Resume as he graduates Drill School at Fort Jackson, SC.
We moved to Georgia in May... and here we are!